23.05.10
ITT ideologue Cher
My policies are being ravaged by people who conjecture that the government is too big. Do you have any suggestions on how I can fight against it?
-B. Obama, Washington, DC
Mr. President,
Your American exceptionalism is inadequate. Americans believe that supersizing improves everything from burgers to breasts. This includes big problem and the magnitude of the seraglio of Tiger Woods. The exception that makes us unusual is the government. It's the only thing that Americans think it's too big - and too bureaucratic and authoritarian, to boot.Of course, that, except for the military, they love, even if it is the largest and most bureaucratic bossiest part of the administration. Why? Go figure.
Therefore, my suggestions are: 1) eliminate the "United States" from the names of entities to monitor and add "Inc." at the end, and 2) committed to Social Security in uniform. Instead of pelting the White House with tea bags, you will find other Americans queuing up to buy shares in the government as if they were soaked in 40 oz.
Source: In These Times