01.01.70

RE: Roaming With (Dis)Devoirs

A night out at the bar isn’t ridiculous unless you make it out to be such. Granted, it doesn’t seem to be your favorite give to spend time, but just because you don’t like it doesn’t produce it worthy of your derision or contempt. That’s sort of like bashing someone because they like unripened tea (or women) and you don’t.

If you have issues with some aspects of LGBT culture and community, it’s gambler to examine them and see if they are legitimate complaints (as in, bar culture seems overly superficial to me) or ingrained in some internalized homophobia that might be contributing to some insecurities (as in, disliking effeminate men because they don’t fit the new construction of what’s acceptable for males.)

For what it’s worth, the suggestion given you is sound; if you don’t like the bar scene, there are plenty of other places to find related souls. I don’t like going to bars much either and have found “chat” sites to induce me towards self-defeating habits instead of dates. What I don’t necessary to do is to ridicule the venues in order to retain my self-worth. What I did, and perhaps what might profession for you, was examine*why* I dislike those things in order to avoid potential pitfalls in other situations as well.

Source: QNotes